Monday, May 08, 2006

I'm So Lucky!

I'm so lucky. Over the last few weeks, I have been offered the opportunity to help several people from different parts of the world. I know that there are always people around who need help, but these people are different.

What makes my recent opportunities so different – so "lucky” for me - you ask. I’m not sure how much I should reveal on the Internet, so I’ll only say that I have received confidential letters from Eastern Europe, Ghana, Cote d’Ivoire, and South Africa written by the widows or children of recently deceased, wealthy businessmen whose wealth is currently tied up in and about to be lost to bureaucratic red tape. (Having traveled a good bit outside the USA, I understand what these poor people mean by red tape.) The stories are so compelling: One man was a diamond merchant who was murdered while on a clandestine meeting with his business partners who have yet to be found; another man, a widower, died from an apparent broken heart; and another died from an undetermined medical disorder that kept him in a degenerative, vegetative state for nearly a year, all the while unable to communicate more than a faint sparkle in his eye.

In all of these cases, multiple millions of dollars are at stake and the rightful heirs are soliciting my help in getting their money. While I don’t understand all the reasons of why they need a foreign bank account to get the money out of the red tape mess, each of the letters offered me half of the money for my assistance. The way I figure it, even if they don’t give me all they promised I should still be a multi-millionaire by the end of the year.

As if this isn’t enough, I received an email today announcing that my “email address has been selected as one of the lucky email addresses in the category ‘B’ of the online lotto conducted by EURO MILLIONS INTERNATIONAL.”

The long and short of it is that I am “entitled to a prize money of 466.812,79 Euros (Four hundred and sixty-six thousand, eight hundred and twelve euro, seventy-nine cent) only.” So, as soon as I send them my bank details and a little more personal information, I’ll be $594,917.65 richer.

Why do all these good things keep happening to me? Oh, this just in: I just got an email telling me that a finance company will loan me any amount of money I want, and they aren’t interested in my credit rating. Can you imagine? Too bad, I won’t need their services. After all, I just won $594, 917.65. Can anyone tell me if this money will be tax free and/or why I'm so lucky?


Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure you will have to pay taxes. And I know you'll have to pay some bank fees in order to activate the transfer (about $50,000). But you'll get the money, no doubt. They have been assuring me of that for a couple of years now and I have no reason to doubt them. After all, I've paid all the bank fees they've asked for!

Todd Bolen said...

This guy had a little more fun: